A Little at a Time
July 27, 2007
As you’ve probably guessed from my recent blogging (or lack thereof), life has happened at our house. I’ve suddenly found myself overwhelmed with everything that needs doing, with doctor appointments, soccer camp, and errands.
Typically, if I’m going to write, I like to have a 2 to 4 hour block of time. But that hasn’t been possible for a long time and won’t be for the next month either.
So how do you get things done when you’re coming and going and doing three chores at the same time?
Well, it’s not easy. I’ve learned this summer that you’ve got to take the little bits of time that you do have and work with them.
For example, I have a manuscript that I’m getting critiqued at this fall’s ACFW conference. I need to have it done in a couple of weeks, but as of yesterday morning, I had not one word written.
As of today, I have 817 words! All I had was half an hour, but that was enough time to get over three pages written. If over the next week I daily add that amount to it, I’ll have the fifteen page manuscript written and ready for editing. So that’s my goal — fifteen pages in whatever few minutes I can scrounge up.
What about you? Any time tips you can share?
- Next Monday–the winner of Mary DeMuth’s debut novel, Watching the Tree Limbs. Follow this link to learn how to enter.
Container Store Gift Card Winner
June 29, 2007
I had fun reading the many tips I received, and I know I’ll be putting some of them to good use in the coming months.
I said way back when this contest began that I would pick the winner, and I was looking for something I hadn’t heard before, something I’d probably have never thought of on my own.
There were definitely a number of those, but there was one that I thought of over and over–Jennifer’s tip of pre-packing child activity bags. Here it is again, in case you missed it.
Jennifer says, “Organize your tote bag and minimize chaos while in a ‘waiting’ situation with a child (doctor’s office, restaurant, car, etc.) by pre-packing activity packs. Pack bags with small, quiet activities such as crayons, stickers, pad of paper, small cars, deck of cards, snacks, etc.
I suggest making several different packs for each child in your family based on their age and interest. Set all in a basket by the door so that you can grab them and enjoy the peace and quiet that follows.”
So Jennifer is our winner. Thanks so much for the tip, Jennifer!
And thank you to everyone who entered. It was a bit more work than I expected but a lot of fun. Maybe we’ll have to do this again next year.
In the meantime, you have until the end of the month to enter the contest for Rene Gutteridge’s latest book Snitch. If you like comedy and suspense, this book’ll be right up your alley.
Take a Deep Breath . . .
June 27, 2007
. . . cause we are still flying through the tips!
Charlotte says, “Drop one mothball into your outside garbage can to keep flies away.”
I currently live in a condo, but I’ll keep this tip in mind whenever we have our own outdoor garbage container. On the other hand, maybe our condo dumpster could use a bunch of mothballs. Wonder if they’ll keep squirrels away?
Holly says to put lots of shelves in the garage.
Yep, let’s keep the garage floor clear for the car! Another thing I dream of having some day. (Okay, bad writing there — I have a car; I dream of having a garage.)
Patricia says to keep small things rubberbanded or in a small container, and Eric suggests rubberbanding shoes together. Put them sole to sole and wrap a rubberband around them.
Joni says, “I save all the rubber bands that come on our daily newspaper and use them for everyday needs around the house. I store them in a zip lock baggie so they all stay in one place.”
My kids’ Sunday School teacher used to paper clip all their papers together each Sunday, and I saved those clips and never had to buy my own. Just one way to save a little money here and there. Good tip, Joni!
Carol says, “I use little clear plastic boxes to keep my cosmetics organized in my bathroom drawers.”
I do this in our bathroom. We have a vanity cabinet with a big open space beneath the sink. In other words, no drawers. So I got the big plastic boxes with clear drawers, and we keep everything there — hair dryer, brushes, toothpaste, cotton balls, all that fun stuff we women can’t live without.
Along those lines, Sarah says, “Use a smaller desk organizer for cosmetics to go in narrow drawers for dressing rooms or bathrooms.”
Shea says, “We have a very tiny full bathroom (the only one!), and there is virtually NO cupboard or shelf space for towels and washcloths. I purchased two of those hanging ‘canvas/vinyl’ sweater organizers. They velcro attach to the shower curtain bar at the far end of the tub, facing outwards, and because they have only the front opening, they stay dry!
Now we have ample storage space for bath towels, washcloths, some other hard-to-place linens like extra toilet lid covers and bathmats, and they really don’t take up that much room at the end of the tub– in addition, being outside the shower curtain, they wind up providing even MORE protection keeping shower water IN the tub and not down the curtain and onto the floor.”
Interesting. For those of you without bathroom storage, this might be a good solution. Thanks, Shea.
One more day of tips, and then the winner of the Container Gift Store will be announced!
- Don’t forget to enter the contest for Rene Gutteridge’s latest book Snitch.
Missing the Obvious
June 26, 2007
We’re continuing in our organizational tip contest this week. I received a number of tips that fell into that “obvious” category, but they’re obvious for a good reason — they really work! And even as I did some purging of my own last week, I was reminded how often I think I’m doing the obvious tips that work when I’m really not.
- Velma and Susan both said to put things away as soon as you finish using them. That’s an obvious tip that is too easy to ignore.
- Tamara, Connie, Tiffany, Valerie, and Sylvia all reminded me to label containers. Valerie even added the idea of using a different colored tub for each person’s storage.
- Sandra, Carrie, Miranda, and Betty all said to sort mail right away. Carrie goes through her mail right beside the trash can, and Joan said that she uses three folders to deal with paperwork. One file says to pay, one says to file, one says to do, and when she opens the mail, everything not trash-worthy goes into one of those files. Great idea, Joan.
- Liz Zelie says she and her roommate have a ten-minute clean-up time whenever they feel their place needs to be cleaned up. She says it’s amazing what you can get done in ten minutes. I’d agree.
- Tracy says that everyone in her house has a basket with their name on it, and their items that need to be put away go in it. When they’re watching TV at night, they take a commercial break and put all their things away. Sounds like something I did as a kid!
- Cecilia says that for quick company clean-up, she throws whatever is lying around in a plastic bin and puts it out of sight. When company leaves, everyone takes their stuff out and puts it away. Not a bad idea for those all-too-many times when we forget to put away immediately what we’ve finished using.
So there are all kinds of original ways to get your house picked up. But here’s one more obvious but oh-so-good tip for us.
The Big Woman, Pat, Debbie, Betsy, C, Adhab, and Cynthia, all say THROW THINGS AWAY! They suggest various ways from literally throwing what you no longer use in the trash, to donating it, recycling it, or selling it on E-Bay. I just spent two days going through closets and did this. The rooms I cleaned look so much better, and I feel so much better. Thanks, everyone!
Along those lines, Angela says she makes it her goal to throw away one item every day. There’s a tip I really like! Breaking big items down into little pieces makes it so doable. Great tip, Angela.
Well, 2 more days of tips, and then I’ll announce the winner. But for right now, I need to find something to throw out . . .
Kitchen Tips
June 18, 2007
That’s a rather boring title there, but I couldn’t come up with anything clever. Without further ado, here are the tips.
Michelle says, “I use plastic containers and/or lazy susans in the fridge to help stop items from getting ‘lost’ in the back. It’s especially helpful for husband who can only find things in the front.”
I like this tip. I’m constantly losing food to the evil back of the fridge where it goes bad and causes me to make nasty noises when I discover it months later. Must try this tip.
Rebecca says, “I’ve found an easy way to utilize the space on that skinny shelf in the middle of the fridge — put down a cookie tray and instead of losing stuff in the back of the fridge, just pull out the tray and everything on that shelf is easily visible and reachable.”
I don’t have a skinny shelf, but if I did, I’d have to try this one, too.
Giana says, “Store all of your pastas, grains, flours and sugars in sealable containers to avoid bugs.”
Ugh. Bugs. Hate bugs. Just as evil as the back of the fridge. Why on earth did God make bugs? Certainly not to get into my food! So this one’s a good tip, too.
Jackie says, “Do you feel like you never see your friends anymore? Once a month get together in somebody’s kitchen and cook — breads, muffins, desserts, nothing hard and something that makes a lot to share. Then we take home a freezer full. Not only does this save me time in the kitchen all month, but I get to spend time with friends I wouldn’t have seen otherwise.”
Now this one is very original. My mom and a friend used to do this at Christmas. They’d go to one person’s house, bring all kinds of baking ingredients and Christmas records and bake Christmas cookies all day while they played music. A great idea!
Anyone else have a kitchen trick? Please feel free. I’m all for anything that makes my life in the kitchen easier.
- On Wednesday–we take a peek into the closet
- Winner announced June 29
My Summer . . . On Paper
June 1, 2007
Erica Vetsch at On the Write Path recently posted an update on her goals for the year. Wow, that’s one determined lady. Up until this year, I made writing goals with dates for myself, but I never met them with the consistency that Erica has.
With school out for the year (yes, that was a real loud YIPPEE!), I am determined to be productive. And the number one reason I am not productive is because I don’t have a schedule or routine. You’d think I’d have this how-to-get-the-most-out-of-24-hours thing down by now, but frankly I don’t. If I don’t get enough sleep (#2 reason I don’t get things done) and I don’t have my day planned ahead of time, then I might as well be wandering the Sahara for as much work as I get done.
I feel busy. Really, I do. But too often, at the end of the day, I look back and think, “What did I do today?”
Sure, raised kids, disciplined kids, disciplined some more, hugged kids, cooked 3.14159 meals, and washed dishes for 5 meals along with numerous other things, but those things don’t take all day.
So, say what you will, but I have come up with a schedule. This may not work for you, but it is oh so necessary for me.
And now, I give you . . . the schedule.
- 5:45-7 –devotions and exercise
- 7-8 — shower, dress, eat
- 8-9 — Flylady my house
- 9-10 — take kids outside to play
- 10-11:30 — e-mails, blog, writing misc.
- 11:30-1 –lunch, clean-up, read to kids
- 1-4 –WRITE!
- 4 — dinner prep
So there it is. I have morning and evening routines I do. And I have daily routines within the Flylady hour. We’ll talk about that at a later date, and regardless of what you think of Flylady, there are some production guaranteed steps there. So far I’ve done a fairly good job of sticking to it. It might need some tweaking, but that’s to be expected. Anyone else have a schedule, a plan, a routine — even if it’s only for part of a day?
One of my goals this summer is to get my next book written before the end of August. I’ve been listening to some writers’ conference MP3s lately, and one reminded me that writing a book doesn’t happen haphazardly. There is much planning, specifically time planning, that goes into that book getting written, and since my kids dropped their naps a few years ago, I’ve been slack about carving out time to write. No more!
I want to be able to lay out my goals and see myself accomplish them. Isn’t that a great feeling? Keeping up with the house, getting rid of clutter, and writing a 90,000 word book — those are the things I’m shooting for with this schedule.
Speaking of schedule, I’m a tad late for breakfast. Happy weekend, and see you Monday.
- Monday, Crime & Clutter and A Bigger Life book winners announced!
- June novel giveaway announced.
The Container Store Gift Card Contest Is . . .
May 31, 2007
. . . over. But I’ve not yet picked a winner.
Thank you to everyone who sent me tips. I have scads to go through and sort.
And I want to clear something up, just in case there was a bit of confusion. I replied to most of you to say thanks for sending me the tip. Every tip I received will run on the blog, and I’ll do my bestest to let you know ahead of time what day your tip will run.
So stay tuned! The winner will be announced at some time in June. How’s that for vague?
Stop Being Perfect Already!
May 18, 2007
I confess. I am a perfectionist.
I do not admit this with feigned humility or follow it by polishing my knuckles against my shirt. Being a perfectionist is not all it’s cracked up to be. In fact, it can be downright debilitating.
I’m sure there are perfectionists who actually do things perfect, but I’m not one of them and frankly I don’t know any perfectionists who are perfect. Typically a perfectionist is someone who WANTS everything to be done perfect — but can’t meet their own desires or standards.
See what I mean? Frustrating.
This aspect shows up in our lives in many ways. In college, it showed up as the research paper that freaked me out. Since I didn’t have a clue where to begin, I postponed it until the last possible second.
As a stay-at-home with two small children, it’s manifested itself in frustration that my house DARE get dirty and since it’s going to be a mess no matter how hard I clean, why even bother? There it is, that all or nothing attitude.
For the past year I’ve been telling myself to stop it!
Really, I’ve been on a mission to retrain the way I think. We’ve been told growing up that you have to do things right, that doing things halfway is still all wrong. That’s somewhat true — and somewhat not.
What’s better — a house that’s halfway dusted or a house that isn’t dusted at all? A laundry basket partway folded and put away or neglected all together?
Hm.
I came across this concept in a book that’s helped me get organized, in fact the book I referred to way back in that first Routine Queen post. The book is Sink Reflections by Marla Cilley who is better known as (don’t laugh) Flylady.
Before you roll your eyes and say forget it, think back to all the tricks and techniques and routines we’ve been talking about. If any of them have worked for you, then you’ve been doing a bit of Flylady yourself.
And Flylady is the one who showed me that those of us who aren’t Born Organized (BO) aren’t necessarily lazy but are perfectionists who are easily distracted or haven’t a clue where to begin.
Boy, that’s me all over the place.
I look at the cluttered living room and think, I have to clean this whole thing? Why bother when it’ll just get trashed in a day? I stand in my walk-in closet, items ready to pop from the shelves and think, Where do I begin?
Sound familiar?
It’s that perfectionist in us. What if we retrained ourselves to stop thinking, How will I get this all done, and start thinking, I can do part of this in the next 15 minutes or half hour.
Thinking that second way creates interesting results in your home. You do less housework while your house gets cleaner. Really. You know exactly where things are when you need them. Shocking. And your regular chores like laundry and cleaning the kitchen become less time-consuming because you’re keeping up with them.
No kidding.
My goal this summer is to Flylady my house, to go through each room, to organize, throw stuff out, sell it on E-Bay (cha-ching), and cement my routines to the point where I no longer see dirt.
You heard me. No. More. Dirt.
It’s possible. I was close last summer before my routines went bye-bye. And it happened because I let go of my perfectionism.
Instead of staring in frustration at a dirty frig, I picked one day a week to spend 5 minutes cleaning out my frig.
Instead of letting bills and paper and clutter pile up, I spent 15 minutes tops and honestly usually less putting away things that had piled up.
Instead of waking up to a messy kitchen, I spent less than 15 minutes before bed cleaning up any last items in my kitchen and getting my sink to shine.
If you want to make a change in your house, if you’re tired of people popping in when your house is at its worst, go get Sink Reflections.
Now.
Even if you’ve done the e-mails and they haven’t worked for you. They didn’t work for me, either. But the book is a different story. It makes you personalize and own the system. It’s an investment you’ll never regret. I sure don’t.
My goal between today and next Friday is to get my summer routines down on paper. If I do, I’ll share them with you and show you how a few routines and minutes a day will make a drastic difference that everyone in your house will notice!
But if I only get half of my summer routines down, that’s okay, too. I can finish the rest later.
Will Do Math for Dessert
May 11, 2007
Last night a friend and I were out walking, and she mentioned a little trick she’s used to teach her kids their letters and numbers.
When dinner is over, they don’t get up from the table. Instead, my friend gets out the flashcards (she doesn’t like the boring flashcards, so she has Barbie flashcards for her daughter), and she quizzes the kids on numbers and letters and things like that. For every card they get right, they get a certain amount of dessert — one Skittle per card or one milisecond of chocolate sauce on the ice cream, etc.
I thought this was a great routine. I know one of her children is not yet in school but is reading a little. So I may have to try this trick with C2 (Child Two) who knows her letters and numbers but can’t identify them by sight. And it gives the kids a motivation for the dessert they’ll probably end up eating anyway.
This is exactly the kind of tips I’m looking for, little routines that make something work fast and work well in your life, whether they have to do with laundry, housework, bills, relationship, education. You name it, I’d like to hear it.
And yes, there’s a prize on the line! A gift card to The Container Store where I could spend about as much time as I can in a bookstore (which is all day).
So email your unique routines to me at sallybradleywrites AT gmail DOT com. I’ll start posting them in June and will announce the winner some time during the month.
Container Store Gift Card Giveaway
May 4, 2007
One of my most favoritest of stores is the Container Store.
And I’m giving away a $25 gift card to the Container Store to whoever sends me the best organizational tip! (If you aren’t so blessed to have a Container Store near you, never fear. The gift card is good online and by phone as well.)
So send me your tips! You have until the end of May to get it in. Remember to send it to sallybradleywrites {AT} gmail DOT com. We’ll run the comments on the blog individually throughout the month of June, and I’ll choose one that I think is the best, whether most creative, most effective. I’ll know it when it hits me.
On your mark, get set, start tipping!
Cementing our Routines
May 4, 2007
Hard to believe I’ve spent every Friday for two months now talking about little routines that make our life smoother and less hectic. (Click here to read the routines we’ve discussed.) I thought it might be a good time to take a breather and see how we’re all doing.
So, how are we all doing?
We’ve talked about our morning and evening routines, the evening one being key to how productive we are the next day. I’m still having trouble with that one. I don’t want to go to bed. I’m such a rebel!
We also talked about short routines we can do when we’ve got a tiny bit of time to kill, fighting spiritual anorexia, and our fifteen-minute after meal clean-up. My two-minute drill is no more now that warm weather is here (finally!), and I’m doing better and better on my after meal clean-up. I’ll catch myself starting something after dinner and tell myself, “Not until you’ve spent 15 minutes cleaning that kitchen!”
Tell me you talk to yourself, too.
So where are you at? Have you made any changes, whether or not you got the idea here?
And for those of you new to this topic, why does silly little stuff like this even matter?
It matters for the people who live with us, whether spouses by choice or children by God’s choice. What are we teaching them about life, responsibility? What kind of environment are we putting them in?
As a writer, I want to rid myself of nasty time-wasting habits right now, before I get that book contract I’ve dreamed of and become a full-time working woman again. I hear so often published authors talk about how they never cook or their husband does all the cleaning and sometimes laundry and cooking, too.
Frankly, I don’t want that for my family. My husband has a life, too. He has a job he feels called to do. I don’t want to ever get to the point where I’m expecting him to take on everything around the house. I want to know how to do things well so that I can handle writing AND family life. I want to learn how to be organized so that the house doesn’t fall apart for those few months when I’ve got a deadline scrawled across the calendar.
It’s critical that I weed out some things in my life now. In fact, I’m going to try to really cement some new habits and routines come summer. Child One will be out of school then, and, with more time in my day without having to take him to and from school, I hope to be able to tackle some things around the house — and teach my children some new responsibilities. Nothing they can’t handle. Nothing that isn’t good for them.
I hope these Fridays so far have been a help to you as much as they’ve been to me. Happy weekend!
- Don’t forget to leave a tip! Sally has finally remembered the prize!
- Leave a comment to win either A Bigger Life by Annette Smith or Crime and Clutter by Cyndy Salzmann.
Leave a Tip, Please!
April 27, 2007
If you haven’t figured it out by now, I love little techniques, short cuts, routines, and tips that help me get jobs done faster, better, and easier.
But I know I’m not the only out there with unique steps that make life run smoother. You all are geniuses, too. So now it’s your turn to share your tips.
Before you go diving for the comment button, hold on! Here’s how we’ll do it. For the next month, please EMAIL me any tips you’d love to share with the rest of us. Send me tips on things related to organizing, shopping, cleaning, reading faster, selling your manuscript for millions of dollars — I mean, anything you want. I’ll pick a date to post your idea so I can tell everyone how brilliant you are and so we can talk about that tip individually. I’ll let you know ahead of time when your tip will run.
I haven’t yet put my email on the blog because, first, this lovely blog is still a work in progress (as you can tell by my sidebar difficulties) and second because I don’t know how to do it without getting spammed to death. Let’s see if this technique keeps the bad guys away. Send it to me at sallybradleywrites AT gmail dot com.
Here’s an example of what I’m looking for. This tip just hit me two weeks ago while I was shopping at Walmart. I still hadn’t cleaned out my purse from vacation so it was filled with receipts and paper things like that. Ugh. Irritating how those things reproduce in a purse, isn’t it?
I do save most of our receipts, so I always stick my receipts in the bag so that when I get home and put items away, I come across the receipt and put it away, too. (That’s not the tip, but it’s free if you want it.)
Anyway, I was holding my 3×5 card shopping list in one hand and as I put the receipt in the bag, it dawned on me that I should put the shopping list in the bag, too.
Why?
Because those things stay forever in my purse once I put it in there. If I put it in the shopping bag, then when I get home I can leave the list in the bag and it will go in the trash when I throw the bag away. (If you recycle bags, this’ll work, too, because you’ll still come across the piece of paper and have to deal with it.)
So there you have it, a little step to keeping your purse a tad cleaner. If you throw receipts away, putting the receipt in the bag will get it in the trash or recycle bin that much faster, too.
I’m wearing a happy grin just thinking about how much cleaner my purse will be — well, after I clean it out to begin with, I guess. Am I weird for loving these tips? Probably. But if they make my life easier, who cares, right?
Have any friends who are great at this kind of thing? Send them over. I’ll have a prize (something yet unthought of; think, Sally!) for the tip I like the most.
So bring on the tips!
- Don’t forget to leave a comment before the end of April for a chance to win Sharon Dunn’s Death of a Garage Sale Newbie or a free critique from Affordable Novel Critique Services (specify in the comment if you’d like to win the critique).
- Monday — the perfect collection?
To Love, Honor, and Vacuum
April 20, 2007
There are so many resources out there in book land that are full of tips and hints that’ll click with our specific situations and make our lives a bit more productive — if we knew where to find those resources.
So today, I’m interviewing Sheila Wray Gregoire, author of To Love, Honor, and Vacuum: When you feel more like a maid than a wife and a mother. In her book, Sheila takes our home responsibilities and combines with it our marriage and mothering jobs, too.
SB: Thanks for dropping by, Sheila. What in your life prompted the idea for this book?
SWG: Once upon a time, when my children were little, I was surrounded by women who were miserable. They had achieved their dreams: they were married, they had houses, they each had an adorable little baby. But they weren’t happy. And both of them blamed their husbands.
Diane, one of my friends (not her real name!), used to say to me, “Everyday, I get out his clothes, get the kids up, spend all day cleaning up after everybody, and then I make dinner. He comes home and eats it in front of the TV. He goes out with his friends, and I bathe the kids and put them to bed. He hasn’t been nice to me all day, but then he comes home and you know what he wants?”
I think we all know what he wants, Diane.
Now her husband sounds like a complete idiot from this description. I knew him, and I don’t think he was. I think they just got comfortable in a very dysfunctional way, and Diane didn’t know what to do to change things up a bit.
Other women may not have had issues with their husbands (I certainly didn’t), but they could still feel some of Diane’s frustration. All day long they do nothing but work, work, work. When I walked down the aisle, I thought I was signing up for the greatest relationship in the world.
But five years later, when the kids were little, it sometimes felt a lot more like a to-do list than a fairytale. And I don’t think that’s how God meant it to be. So I wrote the book to help women sort out what really is important, foster relationships that make us swoon rather than whine, and make housework far less of a chore!
SB: Sounds good! Can you give us an idea of what’s in the book?
SWG: Surely. The first half of the book I tackle YOU: the moms. What can you do to change your life, even if nobody else ever gets a lightning bolt flash and decides they want to help. I talk about why we’re so stressed; why modern life can often be less fulfilling and far more complicated than it was a century ago; setting our own standards (and letting go of our mothers’ standards!), and creating balance in our lives. If you just do that, your life will be better.
Then I tackle the relationships. How can you change the way you relate to your kids so you’re serving them appropriately, and not waiting on them like maids? Remember that the best gift you can give your future daughter-in-law is a son who cleans toilets, so you’re not doing him any favors by letting him get out of doing housework!
I tackle how we can help foster a house where people respect each other, rather than take each other for granted. Of
course, the book doesn’t only deal with kids doing chores; it also talks about how we can make sure we spend quality time with kids, and how we can encourage that same relationship between our kids and our husbands.
And finally I tackle two big things which are often a challenge in marriage: money and sex. In fact, I liked the sex part so much I turned around and wrote a whole book just about that: Honey, I Don’t Have a Headache Tonight: Help for women who want to feel more in the moood which is an elaboration on chapter ten.
SB:I have to ask, Sheila — what’s your relationship with your vacuum?
SWG: We’re really more in-laws than anything else. My kids are the ones who are wedded to the vacuum! It’s their chore, not mine, so I only see the vacuum at holiday times, like Christmas or Thanksgiving. Other than that it stays with the girls. Which is, of course, where it’s supposed to be!
I’m not sure why chores seem to have fallen into such a black hole over the last few decades, but kids did a lot more work fifty years ago than they do today. We think kids can handle soccer, and gymnastics, and karate, and homework, but they can’t clean a toilet. Anybody can clean a toilet. And five-year-olds like to!
So why don’t we make them? Because they may not do it right, and it makes more work for us. But if you think about it, what is the purpose of parenting? It’s to raise responsible and independent adults who love Jesus, right? So what better way to teach them that than to let them do chores! In fact, you’re harming your kids if you don’t. If you raise a son who leaves home knowing how to cook five delicious meals and keep a house clean, you will have created quite the catch. So don’t get too up close and personal to all your cleaning products. Let the kids get to know them better. It works out best for everyone!
SB: Do you think housework is that big of a deal to our mental well-being?
SWG: I think it is. but only because we focus our self-worth too much on our homes. We think we have to be perfect, so we watch all those home makeover shows and read Martha Stewart Living and then we feel guilty if we don’t pick pinecones to spraypaint and use as table settings for a big get-together. Instead, we cocoon and don’t have anyone over.
And we watch our homes get messier and messier until one day we blow up at the kids and our husband and demand that everybody drop everything and help us clean up this pigsty! They don’t know what hit them.
So I think we have two problems: one, we expect too much of ourselves; and two, we’re not that organized. I deal with both in To Love, Honor and Vacuum.
First, I ask people to figure out what the purpose of their homes is. It shouldn’t be a showcase. It should be a place of ministry where people get to look more and more like Jesus. You can relax in a bubble bath with some chocolate without noticing that your bathroom walls need cleaning and feeling guilty about that. Your kids can have friends over without incurring your wrath if crumbs spill. Friends can drop in for coffee without you being nervous that your house isn’t presentable enough. After all, they came over to see you, not your living room floor. Create a comfortable house, not a perfect house, where people can relax and be themselves. That means you’re allowed to leave your knitting around the house, but you should probably leave the bathroom looking free of communicable diseases. There is a balance, you know? But you don’t need to be magazine clean. Just be comfortable clean.
Then get an organized approach to housework so that it does get done in its time and you’re not so stressed. I suggest assigning certain tasks to each day, and then sticking to it as much as possible, so you know everything will get clean in its time. When you’re done with today’s task, you’re done! You can go play with your kids.
SB: So where do husbands fall into the home chores picture?
SWG: I hate to disappoint readers, but I don’t come down hard one way or the other. When my kids were little, my husband was working 36 hour shifts, and when he did get home I didn’t want him vacuuming. I wanted him playing with the kids. As he has more time off now, it seems more appropriate that he do more of the work around the house. But I actually enjoy housework (that’s a new thing for me), while he likes organizing the finances and taking care of the yard work. So he doesn’t do much housework, but he does do a lot of work for the family. I don’t think we should get so caught up on who does what, as much as we are looking at the nature of relationships.
Are both spouses giving to each other? Are we tender to each other? Do we respect each other? If the answer is no, and if you feel like your husband takes you for granted, I have some great ideas in the book on relationship revolutions that can help improve that all important intimacy and respect. But who cleans the toilets? Who knows. Don’t fight over it. Get your relationship on an even keel, because tension over housework is really a symptom of something bigger.
SB: Okay then. What’s your favorite time-saving tip?
SWG: Clean to music! Turn on some fast music, put on your running shoes and workout clothes, and set the timer for 25 minutes. It is absolutely amazing how much you and your kids can get done if you dare yourself not to slow down until the timer beeps! And, if you work up a sweat, it counts as exercise! Woo hoo! You kill two birds with one stone.
SB: We like killing two birds with one stone. Thanks, Sheila!
To find more encouragement to get your kids to help at home and make your marriage less stressful, you can pick up To Love, Honor and Vacuum ($13.00) at www.sheilawraygregoire.com
Sheila blogs at www.homeschoolblogger.com/SheilaG. She also writes a syndicated newspaper parenting column, Reality Check, which she sends out by ezine every week. You can sign up for it at www.sheilawraygregoire.com/blogtoursignupc94.php. and you’ll be entered in a draw to win a bunch of Sheila’s books and audio recordings. She’ll make the draw April 30.
I signed up for Sheila’s ezine. Got it once already. I enjoyed it.
I want to jump on one thing Sheila mentioned — getting our kids involved. What do you have your kids do? I’ll share mine. My kids are 7 and 5. They empty the dishwasher, set the table, and I’m starting to have them clear the table. My oldest has washed dishes a couple times and is begging me to let him do it again.
No problem there!
They also pick up their own toys, take their sheets off their bed on laundry day, and they’ve helped clean the bathroom counter and switchplates. (I’ve handled the cleaners, though). They’ve been dusting for “years,” so the fun in that is starting to wear off.
Might sound like a lot. It’s really not, though. What do you all have your children do? Any routines that have worked well for you?
- Next Friday, get ready to get tipped off!
- Leave a comment for Sharon Dunn’s Death of a Garage Sale Newbie or a free critique (please specify you’re interested in the critique).
- And have a happy weekend!
Time Me!
April 13, 2007
One of the most frustrating things in the life of a stay-at-home mom, part-time working mom, married woman, career woman, or homeschool mom has got to be the dirty dishes in the kitchen.
Kitchen clean-up is one of those things we do over and over and over, even on our days “off.” A SAHM friend once told me she felt like she was always washing dirty dishes. She said five or six times a day she’d be in the kitchen cleaning up. And from time to time I’ve found myself rinsing dishes and thinking how I’ll never get to “retire” because we’ll always have to eat. (As I look back, there was usually some other issue going on that was overwhelming me, but still.)
So how do we handle this most boringest of chores? For those of us whose kids are still a little too young to rinse heavy stoneware dinner plates (where was my brain when we picked those out?), is there anything we can do to get control?
You betcha.
Make the timer your friend.
We touched on this briefly two weeks ago with our two-minute drill. (How are you doing there, by the way?) And Elizabeth mentioned in the comments section that she sets the timer for fifteen minutes a day while her kids clean their room. She said they’ve understood it’s not a long time, and so they don’t complain.
I happen to know how old Elizabeth’s kids are, and believe me, we’re all a tad bit older than them. So if they can figure out that fifteen minutes isn’t that long, so can we!
Here’s a new routine for you — after each meal, set the timer for fifteen minutes. When it goes off, stop cleaning your kitchen.
Of course, odds are that you’ll be already done or pretty stinkin’ close.
Part of the reason my kitchen falls behind is because after eating dinner, I want to take a break. And too often that break turns into the rest of the day!
Instead, when breakfast is over, set a timer for fifteen minutes. Honestly, it probably won’t take you more than five minutes to clean up, unless you make huge breakfasts from scratch. Which wouldn’t be me. Remember, I’ve timed it, and it usually takes less than two minutes.
So woo-whoo! Breakfast dishes are gone.
Don’t forget to wipe your counter and table. That’s part of it, too. Put away any recipe books you used and make sure trash is thrown away.
Doesn’t your kitchen look gooooooood?
Do the same thing at lunch. Again, for me, fifteen minutes is probably overkill. It might take ten to twelve.
Now dinner might be a different story. That’s the big meal I cook most days. Like Thursday’s dinner. We had salmon, sun-dried tomato alfredo sauce with fettuccine, salad, and croissants. (I impressed myself, too.) That’s dishes for four, a skillet, two sauce pans, salad bowl, croissant plate, and a stone to clean. Actually not that bad — no cutting board, no prep bowls, although I did transfer the fettuccine to a serving bowl.
I set my timer and went to work. I had just finished wiping down my counter when the timer went off.
Now why is cleaning right after a meal so important?
Consider this — you’re not coming to the end of your day with breakfast dishes in the sink with food dried on them like superglue. Lunch dishes aren’t cluttering your counter, and you don’t have to wipe up crumbs just so you can make dinner on your counter and dirty it all up again. You’ve kept up with the task, and so it has become bearable.
That’s the big secret — keeping up with the task. And how do we keep up with any task?
By making it routine.
Yep, it all goes back to those pesky precious little routines!
So make a committment for the next week to spend fifteen minutes cleaning up after each meal. And relax your night away, knowing everything in your kitchen’s under control!
- Next Friday — special guest interview. Did our wedding vows include the vacuum?
- Don’t forget — leave a comment for a chance to win Sharon Dunn’s Death of a Garage Sale Newbie or a free critique from Affordable Novel Critique Service. (In your comment, please specify if you’d like a shot at the critique.)
Fighting Anorexia
April 6, 2007
Ever have one of those days where you were just horribly busy? Maybe emergencies came up or a disaster that needed to be dealt with right away. Did you skip a meal or eat junk food because it was fast? How’d you feel?
We never go without food if we can help it. We know we need it to function.
Yet it’s too easy to go without a spiritual meal.
Like our routine meals, we need a spiritual routine, too. Remember, we’re not using the word “routine” with the meaning of being in a rut. We’re talking about creating good habits and patterns that become second nature.
And making our devotions with God a daily habit is essential if we expect to function as Christians. Not making time for God and His Word starves us, exhausts us, and makes us useless Christians so far from God. The sad thing is sometimes we don’t even know it. We’re like the anorexic who looks in the mirror and truly thinks he’s fine. A little scary, isn’t it?
The more I grow as a Christian, the more I realize how much I depend on God. There’s nothing I’ve accomplished or learned on my own. Everything I have, everything I do is a gift from Him. No matter what I’m going through, whether a trial or a success, I have to cling to God.
Kinda hard to do if I don’t spend time in the Bible.
My challenge to you today is to make sure you have a daily routine for your time with God. It might be before bed, during your lunch break, or first thing in the morning, whatever works for your schedule.
Me — I’m a first-thing-in-the-morning person beause once I get my day started, I have a hard time settling down for a quiet, contemplative time to study. And I love how doing it first thing in the morning starts off my day. If I have my devotions at night, I end up with too many things to confess! But that’s just me.
So what’s your routine? What works best for you? If you don’t have a set pattern, let me encourage you to start one today. Make sure you’re not an anorexic Christian.