When God Says No
February 11, 2008
It’s only February, and so far it’s been a rather interesting year. God has made His plans, totally different from my own, very clear in such a short time.
What do we do when God says no? What do we do when He takes our well-laid plans, plans that to all appearances would benefit our family, plans that are not wrong, and destroys them? Do we keep a stiff upper lip? Do we throw a fit? Do we say, “Oh, well” and give up?
How do we handle a “no” that we can’t get around? It’s a hard place to be in, isn’t it? Years down the road, it’s different. It’s easy then to spout phrases about trusting God and realizing that He knew best, all of which is true. But for the person who’s stuck in what feels like quicksand, the no’s can be scary.
So what action do we take when God says no? What do we do and what should we do in the middle of a no?
Comments
6 Responses to “When God Says No”
Sally,
I just want to give you a huge hug! It’s so hard when things aren’t turning out the way we expected. And doubly hard when what we want is truly a good thing. Having been through 9 years of infertility I know some of the pain you’re feeling.
There were a couple of things that helped me most when my dreams were not working out as I planned. I learned in a big way during those years that God is sovereign (that one was easy) but also that He is good (that one isn’t so easy sometimes). The really hard part is to see that God is sovereign *and* good at the same time. It can be a bitter pill to swallow. To know that the plans that He is working out are straight from His hand *and* that they are the best for His purposes. Like I said, not easy.
Another thing that helped me was the verse 2 Corinthians 1:4. In essence it says that God comforts us through our tribulations and then we can turn around and comfort others the same way that God has comforted us. It was a huge help to me to be able to come together with other infertile friends and comfort each other with the things that we were learning about God. Growing in Him was a comfort in and of itself.
I don’t want these things to sound trite. Sometimes, even though it’s not what we want most at the time, holding onto the doctrine that we know is true is what will help us through.
I know it hasn’t been “years down the road” yet but these are truly the things that helped me. That and the hugs and understanding ears that friends gave me.
)
Just one more thing. Just because God says, “No” right now doesn’t mean that it’s no forever. Thanks for helping me remember. I’ll think of that right now while I go hug my 4 year old daughter.
)
(((hugs))) to you.
PS ~ Sorry this post turned out so long!
When God tells me no, I usually pout–but that’s not the right response
You’re right about it being way easier to look back, years later, and see that He knew best all along. I guess we have to trust that what He said is true: He has plans to prosper us, not to harm us, to give us hope and a good future. I also try to look at it from a parents’ perspective, and how I deal with my young ones.
Love ya!
Sally,
It’s so hard to understand why God’s plans aren’t always the same as ours, especially when we think our plans are doing us so much good.
Moving for us was a hard decision. We prayed exstensively and felt the Lord leading us to the Chicagoland area. We moved our family and left behind a wonderful church and great friends and family.
After only 18 months, Kirk lost his job. What a blow. I thought God moved us here for the job and now we don’t have one any longer. Why did I give up everything to come here ?
It was hard to understand how God was leading us. What I had to do to avoid the bitterness that was welling up inside me was plaster (and I mean that) my house with Scripture verses. I had verses of comfort posted on every wall, at every turn. I read them all over and over again until not only my head believed them, but my heart did also.
I also had to remember that our boys were watching our reaction. How we responded to this situation would certainly impact how they would respond in the future to God. It was difficult for me to be transparent and allow them to see the hurt and the healing.
Without sounding mundane, it was so helpful to remember that God is good and just and His ways are so much better than our own. Remember times past when God said “no” and how things worked out then was so helpful. I think it’s in
I Samuel where they talk about raising an “Ebeneezer” stone to remind them of God’s goodness.
We’ll be praying for you!
Julie
Sally, I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. I’ve been struggling with discouragement the past week or so, myself. It’s not fun.
Like someone else who commented, I’ve been through infertility, and the tests and treatments, the ups and downs. I believe we eventually came to a point that we got a final “no.” And you know what? God took away that consuming desire for children, in my husband and me. He turned our hearts in other directions, like the goodness of traveling together, and planning for his early retirement (instead of planning for paying college bills).
On other things, though, the “no” seems to be for a season. He won’t remove the desire from me, but has me continue to work toward that goal. Sometimes I want to be released from the wondering and waiting–to just be told “no” once and for all so I can move on. But that doesn’t happen.
In the middle of my discouragement last week, I “coincidentally” received the audio book of Believing God by Beth Moore from my rental club. I’d been trying to get it for months, but guess when I managed to get it? LOL! I won’t go into specifics. But the whole thing deals with what we’re talking about. You might want to check it out. Very inspiring stuff.
Sally, I read this blog on the day you posted it, and I didn’t reply because I didn’t know what to say. I’m still sure I don’t have all the answers, but I will tell you what I use to comfort myself.
I KNOW that God loves me. He cares about my future even more than I do. His motives are pure. If He closes a door, it is for my good and not to harm me. This doesn’t mean a closed door doesn’t hurt, but it does mean I don’t need to fear. My destiny is foreknown by One who loves me, and it is all in His hands. It’s okay to grieve a dream postponed or lost, as long as we also rejoice in knowing that God wants only what is best for us.
Remind me of this the next time I find myself standing before a slammed door.
I will be praying for you, my friend.
You made me stop and think. Thanks for sharing.