Stop Being Perfect Already!
May 18, 2007
I confess. I am a perfectionist.
I do not admit this with feigned humility or follow it by polishing my knuckles against my shirt. Being a perfectionist is not all it’s cracked up to be. In fact, it can be downright debilitating.
I’m sure there are perfectionists who actually do things perfect, but I’m not one of them and frankly I don’t know any perfectionists who are perfect. Typically a perfectionist is someone who WANTS everything to be done perfect — but can’t meet their own desires or standards.
See what I mean? Frustrating.
This aspect shows up in our lives in many ways. In college, it showed up as the research paper that freaked me out. Since I didn’t have a clue where to begin, I postponed it until the last possible second.
As a stay-at-home with two small children, it’s manifested itself in frustration that my house DARE get dirty and since it’s going to be a mess no matter how hard I clean, why even bother? There it is, that all or nothing attitude.
For the past year I’ve been telling myself to stop it!
Really, I’ve been on a mission to retrain the way I think. We’ve been told growing up that you have to do things right, that doing things halfway is still all wrong. That’s somewhat true — and somewhat not.
What’s better — a house that’s halfway dusted or a house that isn’t dusted at all? A laundry basket partway folded and put away or neglected all together?
Hm.
I came across this concept in a book that’s helped me get organized, in fact the book I referred to way back in that first Routine Queen post. The book is Sink Reflections by Marla Cilley who is better known as (don’t laugh) Flylady.
Before you roll your eyes and say forget it, think back to all the tricks and techniques and routines we’ve been talking about. If any of them have worked for you, then you’ve been doing a bit of Flylady yourself.
And Flylady is the one who showed me that those of us who aren’t Born Organized (BO) aren’t necessarily lazy but are perfectionists who are easily distracted or haven’t a clue where to begin.
Boy, that’s me all over the place.
I look at the cluttered living room and think, I have to clean this whole thing? Why bother when it’ll just get trashed in a day? I stand in my walk-in closet, items ready to pop from the shelves and think, Where do I begin?
Sound familiar?
It’s that perfectionist in us. What if we retrained ourselves to stop thinking, How will I get this all done, and start thinking, I can do part of this in the next 15 minutes or half hour.
Thinking that second way creates interesting results in your home. You do less housework while your house gets cleaner. Really. You know exactly where things are when you need them. Shocking. And your regular chores like laundry and cleaning the kitchen become less time-consuming because you’re keeping up with them.
No kidding.
My goal this summer is to Flylady my house, to go through each room, to organize, throw stuff out, sell it on E-Bay (cha-ching), and cement my routines to the point where I no longer see dirt.
You heard me. No. More. Dirt.
It’s possible. I was close last summer before my routines went bye-bye. And it happened because I let go of my perfectionism.
Instead of staring in frustration at a dirty frig, I picked one day a week to spend 5 minutes cleaning out my frig.
Instead of letting bills and paper and clutter pile up, I spent 15 minutes tops and honestly usually less putting away things that had piled up.
Instead of waking up to a messy kitchen, I spent less than 15 minutes before bed cleaning up any last items in my kitchen and getting my sink to shine.
If you want to make a change in your house, if you’re tired of people popping in when your house is at its worst, go get Sink Reflections.
Now.
Even if you’ve done the e-mails and they haven’t worked for you. They didn’t work for me, either. But the book is a different story. It makes you personalize and own the system. It’s an investment you’ll never regret. I sure don’t.
My goal between today and next Friday is to get my summer routines down on paper. If I do, I’ll share them with you and show you how a few routines and minutes a day will make a drastic difference that everyone in your house will notice!
But if I only get half of my summer routines down, that’s okay, too. I can finish the rest later.
Comments
7 Responses to “Stop Being Perfect Already!”
Oh Sally,
You sound so much like me! I’m an all or nothing person too, and once I get going it’s hard to stop until it’s perfect. Retraining your thinking is a great idea–I’m working on it too! We have to, lest we drive ourselves (and our families) NUTS!
Wow! I drive myself nuts in other ways. Housework I pretty much have a handle on. But gardening? UGH. Beyond mowing the yard, I haven’t a clue! So I’m prone to leaving it be. Not good. Therefore, I’ve retrained my thinking and have promised to work on it weekly. Yes! Even as the beach beckons.
Sally, let’s chuck it all and read a good book! I can dream…
It’s funny, I’m good about doing things in little doses, generally–including keeping up with clutter. But the vacuuming and dusting and things like that? I know that once I get started, I’ll want everything to be perfect and will exhaust myself. I definitely need to check out this book!
CeeCee, can we read them on the beach????
Robin, this book is so good, and Marla talks from experience, not from perfection so it was encouraging!
Hey Sally
I am with you and Cee Cee! I have read Marla’s book and found it really helpful but I have trouble sticking to the plan – hehehe!!!
ALWAYS!
It’s so true! If you say you’re going to take 15 minutes, it usually A) takes less time than that or B) gets up the momentum to finish anyway.